The Good News Bible says ¹⁴ You don't even know what your life tomorrow will be! You are like a puff of smoke, which appears for a moment and then disappears. Our neighbours had a barbecue on Monday. We saw the smoke. The cooking smelt delicious. We were going to eat bread and cheese at the time though that is not a problem in this country where there is a great choice of breads and cheeses. In fact too much of a choice. However whilst the barbecue was looking our washing was drying, outside, on the line in the sun- and the smoke.

Now even a few days later we have an olfactory reminder of the neighbour's lunch. Maybe a puff of smoke quickly vanishes but it's effects can linger. Often I mention the people who have effected me and my growth but I think here, (this passage) it is more important to consider the effect that we have on those around us.

Happy New Year

Lent is a time when we make resolutions, such as drink less coffee or less wine, eat no chocolate or desserts, or even take up something spiritual such as reading a daily meditation. Lent lasts fro 46 days - including the Sundays. It is proven that it only takes 21 days to make a habit therefore we should all now be happy with following healthy habits for body and spirit.

Easter celebrates the after death life of Christ. new life, new year. Shall I keep up those resolutions. I will endeavor to do so. One of them was writing each day. Maybe in this space, maybe on paper.

Today there is no Gospel

Today there is no gospel. Jesus is no longer walking with his disciples. he is in the tomb.

Yesterday the Jewish leaders denied the Lord to be their king. The streets were throbbing with anticipated pain, crosses being carried, insults being hurled. Preparations were being made for a Sabbath rest.

The skull shaped hill was covered with blood and gore, home to three deaths. Four Roman soldiers were impressed by one death.

Today is the day of Sabbath rest. Nothing is happening. The streets are empty. The new tomb is full, filled in haste and secrecy the night before this day dawned.

Nothing moves. All are behind doors.

Tomorrow A dawn of glory in a garden of awakening joy.

Genesis 22:1-14

“Watch his eyes for the slightest movement”. (Ward Sister Northampton General Hospital 26 years ago this last Ash Wednesday).

³⁴ Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water. John 19:34 (New International Version, ©2010)

We stood at the foot of the bed with David Williamson, the curate from our previous parish who had driven many miles over the past few days to be a God-given presence in our waiting. We watched as the tests for death were performed. The only one I remember is ice water injected into the ears. Nothing. After three days of total inactivity whilst on a respirator I am not sure that I really wanted to see any reaction.

One of the things which had kept me believing during those three days had been Abraham and Isaac walking up the hill. Those three days might not have been very strenuous activity but they had been a great effort. One of my spiritual mentors had reminded me of this story when I called to tell her about Matthew’s crib death and subsequent resuscitation. We had walked up the hill and now our son was on the altar, a little lamb would come and Matthew would be given back to us to nurture into adulthood.

No flicker of an eye, no twitch of a toe. Death was decreed on March 9^th 1985. The doctor and nurses thanked David and me for our consideration. Our consideration? I think for decorum in our grief. Our grief was no less because God, physically in the form of David Williamson was with us. We still have ‘a gap’ called Matthew. Every time I read this episode in Genesis I am reminded of those three days- the expectation of the little lamb in the form of a flicker of an eye or the suckle of a nipple. After the gathering of the wood there was no little lamb for us on the mountaintop.

The grief is still with us in spite of the years and children since the days of struggle up the mountain and the test on the summit. But grief with God is not as empty as grief without him. So it is with the cross of Good Friday. It is a day of mourning with God.

Bread

1 Corinthians 10:14-17,11:27-32

I am going to the boulangerie to day to buy bread. There is nothing unusual about that. Today because of this passage it will be a different experience for me. I will not even think about buying some 'pistolets' (bread rolls) I shall go for a loaf of bread, one to share with my family. A loaf that will be cut or torn into portions, we shall discuss how much each of us wants. We shall have to share the bread. We shall each receive exactly the same nutrients.

Even within our family we have our differences. Within our church family there are even more differences. Last week I upset both the other members of our coffee team, one by including her name in an email that I sent and the other by not including her. I feel bad about it. I hope they can forgive me and understand that we are all part of the same church family. I will learn not to take people for granted. I would not want to injure another part of my own body. But when I did break my elbow I had to live with it, it was still part of my body with its plaster and pain.

One bread, one body, one family, one church family one worldwide family united in Christ.

Rejoice always.

Philippians 4:1-13

" ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

Maybe " ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me". The seen bit I am not so sure about. It is much easier to lecture about than to practice rejoicing in all circumstances and thinking noble and pure thoughts.

Take driving for instance. When I light changes to red just in front of me do I thank God for the mini rest He is giving me or grouch that I am not completing my agenda as fast as I would like?

My current anxiety is that I bought some, by my standards, expensive curtain material and forgot to take matching the pattern into account. Also the curtain lining was not the same width as the previous lot which I had bought at the same shop. I have not yet got to the stage of rejoicing over the circumstance. I am in a state of anxiety. Perhaps if I pray God will guide me to a solution. And why did I write "Perhaps..." I should trust.

I will sing -in my head not wanting to inflict my singing on anybody other than God and myself- "I will rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice"

Dandelions

John 12:20-26

We have many dandelions in our garden. Today I must try to pick all the radiant yellow discs otherwise later in the summer our whole garden may be filled with dandelions and leave no space for anything else to grow. We have quite a few flower clocks already. Do you remember blowing the seed heads and counting how many puffs it took to clear the head of seeds- that was the time?

I am doing well with dandelions but how am I at growing Christians, at bringing people to Jesus?

Curiosity

John 12:9-19

I like to go for walks, look at rivers, lakes, streams, forests oceans, beaches, old houses, old mills, new buildings...anything, especially places that I have heard about or read about. I find shopping in my local city fascinating- going on a bus from from shopping area to another one passes the Royal Palace, the Museum of Musical Instruments, an area which was a palace at the time of Charlemagne with underground streets and banqueting halls. One sees the spire of the old Town Hall, a marker for the Grand Place. Many of the sidewalks in this area are filled with tourists seeing the sights of Brussels. We hear of somewhere that might be interesting and like lemmings we go there to see for ourselves.

People went to see Jesus, they went to see Lazarus because they had heard the news. They did not understand but they wanted to see. I want to see Jesus too. I do not understand what he went through. The whole thing seems 'bizarre' ( a word overused in French conversation) but without the sight of Jesus my life does not seem complete.

John 10:19-42

You might have noticed that I now include the french version of the Bible passage on which my musing is based. This is not because I understand the French, it is because I want to understand the French. I feel very much the same about Jesus' words.

I live and move in a French speaking village. I order my milk at the farm in French,

I order my bread and pastries in French,

I order my meat in French.

As I walk down the street I greet my fellow "Ittroise" with "Bonjour" and it seems as if the men are straight out of the movie Chocolat with their "Bonjour, Madam". I understand some of my conversation with "Madam la ferme", definitely not all the words. The assistants in the boulangerie are very patient in trying to understand my questions about the names of the interestingly shaped loaves of bread and the tempting pastries.

I do not understand everything that Jesus has to say. If he were not all-knowing I am sure he would wonder why making my requests and comments on life, but he is patient and knows that I am coming from a different place than Him.

Thus I will stick to learning French and talking with Jesus.

Sheep

John 10:1-18

I like sheep. I was hoping to take a photograph of sheep to post here but the sheep across the road were not there this morning. The little lambs are growing. They seem to spend all there time eating, sleeping or admiring the view. I suppose that is much the same as how I spend my time- with a little bit of housework and weeding thrown in. Perhaps I need to listen more attentively for the voice of my shepherd.

Seeing God and Singing

John 9:18-41

When we lived near Northampton the market that I went to was in Olney. It was a little market in the centre of the town at the end of the wide high street, the course for the annual pancake race on Shrove Tuesday.

I seldom go to Olney, or pass through and see the tall spire of the church without remembering John Newton its famous curate.

I may not have been an evil slave trader like John Newton but I have had my moments without God, times when there seemed to be nothing behind creation and we are all puppets pulling our own strings. It was an empty life full of me and my plans. Now even though I do not know if I shall be doing later today what I have planned I know that God has a purpose for me and I can see this plan unfolding. I wonder why He moved us to Belgium?

And the connection with this reading- "Was blind but now I see", the famous line from probably the most famous of John Newton's Olney Hymns which he wrote with William Cowper. But my favourite verse is

"When we've been there ten thousand years

Bright shining as the sun

We've no less days to sing God's praise

Than when we first begun."

This image was taken from the Geograph project collection. See this photograph's page on the Geograph website for the photographer's contact details. The copyright on this image is owned by John Winfield and is licensed for reuse under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 license.

His story, my story

John 9:1-17

This is part of the chapter which we studied in our homegroup last Friday. Actually the given text was the first 23 verses of this chapter. We were reading it as a play. We each had our part. We were so engrossed in the events and having so caught up in the events that we were completely oblivious to the numbers on the verses and read the whole story, right through to the end of the chapter.

I want Jesus to enter my story. I want to be caught up into His story, I want them to be one story. I pray that today I recognize the words of His instructions and follow the path that he has for me. Sometimes I think this is easier in the small things of life than the big. It is easier to decide in what order to do ones household chores than to take the courage to write words on paper or find a niche in the church or local community.

Praying

Romans 8:12-27

When I pray I try to remember that God is charge and thank him for his generosity in providing more than daily bread for me and his kindness in accepting me as his child. Next I bring to his notice the people I know who ailing and need his healing or comforting help. I also ask for his protection for my family and friends who are close enough to be classed as family. My prayer list is complete.

Now where is the Holy Spirit's guidance in all these words of mine? I don't know. I fill the space with my words and desires.

My weakness is that I do not know what is God's will. I do not acknowledge this. Perhaps if I did then the holy Spirit could take over my prayers for me.

Just believe

John 6:27-40

All I have to do is believe. Sometimes I think that that is all I can do. I remember once driving to Holy Spirit Church for the nth time in a weekend and asking myself "Why am I doing this? What is the point in all this church stuff?" But life without the Trinity is a mere nothing. The busyness, the meetings, the right and wrong are all nothing. It is the Presence that gives the meaning. The knowledge that there is a God and he is with me.

Out of the mouths...

Romans 7:13-25

I think Naomi was still in elementary school. Maybe it was she who had wanted me to do something for her. Well somebody had wanted me to do something for them, family member or church family member. I had not done it and claimed that I had not had the time. I remember I was preparing dinner and Naomi said "Well if you had wanted to do it you would have done it".

If whatever it was had been important enough to me I would have fitted it into my life. I could have played one less game of solitaire or sudoku. I would say watched less television but that is not important in limiting my use of time. I could have shaved a few yards off a dog walk.

I am still at it too. I have a long list of things to do in the house. I have made some curtains for the kitchen and am in the process of completing the essential tiebacks but...I checked out gardens on the internet.

I want to write some letters and tell lonely people that they are not forgotten but... I read a book.

I know how Paul felt, I wish I did not.

John 6:1-15

The disciples never seemed to know what to expect from Jesus. He miraculously healed many people but it never occurred to the disciples that he could also feed the crowd.

I wonder what God is teasing me with. What miracle he wants to perform in my life but I am too ready to work out my own mundane solution than trust his off the wall methods.

Open your eyes.

Mark 8:11-21

Today this passage is saying to me "Look around you. What do you see. God is here. No he is not going to speak in a big booming voice. The evidence that he is here is around you all the time."

Did I hear God?

John 8:33-47

⁴⁷ Whoever belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.”

This is a very scary thought. I better get listening.

Have you heard God today? Did you listen?

Sometimes there is that little nudge to do something. A few days ago I wrote about seeing friends at the tyre shop. Going there that day had certainly not been anywhere near my agenda for that day (22nd March). There are other times too. I can think of a time when I wanted to go to a special grocery store but at the last minute went to a different one and there accidentally met a very lonely British lady who had just moved to Houston. Often I get the sense that perhaps I should keep mouth mouth shut in a situation. I am not being very specific am I?

I do believe that God guides us if we give him the opportunity and to me this is usually through a mild inclination, hardly describable.